Instruments of Righteousness

Holding the ring in my hand, I was talking to Suzanne on the phone and came really close to slipping up a few times by accidentally saying what I was thinking about, until the sun sparkled through the diamond and I said “that’s really pretty!” Almost instantly she asked “what’s pretty?” Uh oh! I thought as my mind began to race thinking how I would get myself out of this one. After carefully wiggling my way out I thought – Whew! I’d better get that ring on her finger quick before I really mess up!

The week before I had taken her dad and mom out to eat and talked over some engagement and wedding dates with them. At the time, I was thinking about proposing to her on June 5^th. However, the next day I went ring shopping with her sister Christina and decided on a ring that I had been thinking about for a while. Now, with the ring in my hand, I thought over all my proposal ideas. Something just wasn’t quite right; they were a little too traditional for my liking, and I suspected that Suzanne would catch on what I was up to if I did that.

Remembering that Suzanne and I were going fishing that weekend, everything started coming together in my mind, so I waited till Suzanne had gone to teach violin and called her parents to ask if they would be okay with me proposing to her that weekend which they said was fine.

As I was talking to Jonathan on the phone, he suddenly said, “that’s really pretty!” I tried to get him to tell me what was so pretty but he wouldn’t budge. When I got off the phone, I told Mom about it and told her I thought he must have been looking at rings on a website or something. I didn’t really think much of it because I knew Jonathan was shopping for my ring. He’d been shopping for and talking to me about rings for several weeks.

Saturday Jonathan and I were planning to go fishing. I woke up early and started getting things ready for our fishing trip. Jonathan was supposed to arrive about 8 am, but I figured he might sleep in. I called him at about 7:30 to see if he was on his way or not, and wasn’t surprised to find that he hadn’t even gotten out of bed yet. I encouraged him to hurry up and come see me and then continued preparing things for the day. I packed my backpack with fishing stuff, got some lunch together, and did some necessary chores around the house. I also put some things away that I didn’t want to risk Jonathan seeing; different surprises I had for him. I had made Jonathan a gift to give him the day we got engaged but I was taking my time completely finishing it because I wanted to be able to tell him his surprise wasn’t done yet whenever he’d ask me about it. Mom saw me hiding my engagement present for him and asked me if I was sure I didn’t want to wrap it so it’d be ready – I said “Mom, it’s not like we’re getting engaged today or anything!”

That morning was really rainy, and I was tired from working all week so I decided I would just sleep in a little bit. After all, I figured Suzanne would be less suspecting if I didn’t act like there was anything special happening that day. Carefully tucking the ring in my right pocket, I loaded my car and said goodbye to my family. Mom told me she would be praying for sun, and I was too; it certainly didn’t seem like a very good day for asking a girl to marry me.

As I got off the freeway and started heading to her house, I nearly forgot to stop at the store and buy my Washington fishing license. Thankfully they didn’t require any bridal tags, the lure and out of state fishing license was already expensive enough! Before long though I was at her house loading up the poles and other gear; seeing my church clothes sitting in the back of my car I said “how about we put these inside” she thought that was a good idea, so I took them inside. As soon as I lay my church clothes down I went to show Mrs. Farnell the ring and tell her what my plans were for the day, but just as Mrs. Farnell saw the ring, Suzanne walked in the front door wondering what was taking me so long. I didn’t want her to wonder what I was talking to her mom about, so thinking on my feet I looked over at the kitchen table, and spying some leftover biscuits from breakfast I said “oh, how about we take some biscuits with us!” – Whew! That was close

I kept myself busy until Jonathan got to my house around 10am. After eating some breakfast, we loaded our fishing stuff into his car and were about ready to leave. He took his church clothes out of the back of his car and said he was going to take them in the house. I didn’t know he was planning to stay for church the next day too! How exciting! I waited outside while he took his clothes in the house. After putting all my things in the car, I headed back in the house to see why he hadn’t come back out yet. I saw him in the kitchen talking to Mom. I wondered what he was doing, but knew he likes to surprise me with little things frequently. I figured he was just letting Mom know he was staying for Sunday too. Jonathan suggested that I get some biscuits to take with us and then we headed back out the door.

We enjoyed the beautiful drive up the Lewis River to our special fishing spot on one of the dams. I found the fisherman’s trail down the ridge to the lake; we grabbed our things out of the car and headed down the hill. As we climbed down the ridge, we found a nice spot to take a couple pictures with Swift Reservoir in the background. When we got down to the lake and started getting our poles ready for fishing, I saw Jonathan looking around at the scenery and the sky. I asked him what he was looking at and he said nothing and then commented that his mom had said she’d pray for sun. I noticed the sun was starting to come through the clouds and thought it was nice of his mom to pray for sun for our fishing trip, though it did seem a little odd. But, I wanted to show Jonathan I knew how to catch a fish so I just went right back to getting my pole ready for fishing. I was quite the focused fisherman that morning, lucky for Jonathan.

After getting our poles all ready for fishing, Jonathan suggested that I fish first. Again, I thought that was a little strange but didn’t give it much thought because I still really wanted to show Jonathan I knew how to catch a fish. I figured that since we had never been fishing together before, he must just want to watch me fish. He was still messing with his pole too so I figured he must not be quite ready. When he said I should fish first, I shrugged my shoulders, took a few steps down towards the water and went about my business fishing.

Arriving at the fishing hole I thought – this is just perfect, and the sun is coming out too. Thank you Lord! Suzanne was busy getting her pole ready, so I took off my rain coat and felt my pocket to make sure the ring was still safely tucked inside while I started to get my pole ready too. The first swivel I tied on broke which wasn’t very comforting, but after carefully checking the second one I decided it would be okay and asked Suzanne if she would like to go first. As soon as she turned her back I quickly took the lure off my line, and reaching in my pocket pulled out the ring. since I knew I would be using someone else’s pole, the night before I had tied about 3 feet of fishing line on the ring with a slip knot at the end so that I could quickly tie the line to the pole if I didn’t have a swivel. Since I did have a swivel I cut the line off the ring, but about then Suzanne turned around and looked at me. She didn’t seem to be suspecting of anything so I carried on, and she said “I’m not impressed.” Clipping the ring on to the swivel, I said “just watch, I bet I’ll catch one on the first cast.”

As I threw the line over her shoulder my heart and mind were racing thinking this is it I hope it works! At first she seemed to be a little annoyed at me, then she turned her head and said “what are you doing!?” Dangling the line over her shoulder didn’t seem to be working, so I started swinging it in front of her face, then all of sudden she dropped her pole and grabbed the ring, holding it tightly in her fist as I reeled her up the hill to where I was standing.

Jonathan was messing around with his pole behind me as I cast into the lake several times. I wasn’t getting any bites so I looked over my shoulder at Jonathan and said, “I’m not impressed.” With a silly grin on his face he teasingly said, “well, I bet I can catch one on the first cast.” I just ignored his comment and kept fishing. Next thing I knew, Jonathan was dangling his fishing line over my shoulder. Thinking it had a hook on it, I was slightly annoyed with him and tried to push the line away as I wondered why he would want to hook me. And then I saw it. There was no hook on that line! The lure was MY RING!!!!! I couldn’t believe this was really happening. In fact, I was afraid to believe it was the real thing because Jonathan had given me a hose clamp just for fun a few weeks earlier. My mind was racing instantly as I grabbed the ring and clasped it tightly in my hand. Could it be!? Was he really going to propose to me? Here!? Right now??? As I turned and looked at him, I knew it was really happening. My Jonathan was going to ask me to marry him!

“I got one! I got one!” I said, reeling her up the hill “I told you I would catch one on the first cast!” All she could do was stand there and smile at me, so taking the ring off the line I got down on my right knee and said “will you marry me?” And you know what? She said YES!

We’re getting married!!! On September 18th, 2010!!! I love you Jonathan!!!…

We went to Long Beach with Mom and Dad to do some clamming. David’s family and Linda’s family joined us.

Joshua and Michael got one

Brooklyn and Joshua

She tried so hard...but it still got away.

Dad and Jonathan cleaning clams

Preparing to cook clams

Eating lunch

Playing with the kids

We went to James and Christina’s house for lunch after church a while ago and James took this picture…Mariya and I were fighting over the middle seat.

And these are my two favorite photos of Mikayla.

Spring Studio Recital

Friday, April 30th at 7:00pm

Woodland Christian Church: 430 Buckeye St, Woodland WA 98674

With the end of the semester fast approaching, my students and I will be doing our Spring Studio Recital this coming Friday, April 30th at 7:00pm. It will be held at the Woodland Christian Church, 430 Buckeye St, Woodland WA 98674. We will be playing several duets by Ignace Pleyel, some fun little piano duets, and many other duet/small ensemble pieces. These students have worked hard to prepare some nice music to share with others. Please come and receive a blessing from the music while being an encouragement to these young musicians.

Yes, you read that right. My llamas are for sale. I have no need for them anymore so I’m looking for some good homes to send them to. If you know anyone that might be interested, let me know.

I’ve owned llamas for at least 14 years now! It’s hard to believe it’s really been that long. I’ve learned a lot of lessons from my animals over the years. Lessons about responsibility, diligence, trust, obedience, authority, etc. If possible, I think it’s really important for kids to raise pets. There’s so much to learn from animals.

Chocolate Oreo

This is Oreo. He sure is a good looking llama. He’s super friendly too. I’ve always thought he’d make a great pack llama because he’s got a strong build. But, I’ve just never been diligent enough to train him to do that. I got Oreo when he was about 3 months old. He’s already 7 years old! Time sure goes by fast!!!

Chocolate Oreo

Sforzando Black Bear

Sforzando was born at my house. He’s 4 years old now. You’re probably thinking, “Why the funny name?” Well, when you’ve had animals your whole life, you start to run out of things to name them. You musicians already know this but, a sforzando is a musical term…a dynamic marking that happens to be one of my favorites. I know it doesn’t really make sense to name your llama after a music term but….so what!

Sugar Bear

Sugar is the mother to them all. She’s 12 years old already! Infact, her birthday was yesterday, lol. I figured that out as I was looking at her papers a few minutes ago. I think she’s the best trained llama I’ve ever owned. The lady that owned her before me used to take her to the fairs and do the obstacle courses with her. I’ve always thought that’d be fun but again, never had the diligence to do it.

I have one other young llama that is gray and white. I don’t have any pictures of him though. He is also one of Sugar Bear’s babies. His name is Scherzo…yes, that’s a music term also.

It’s interesting to think about getting rid of my llamas. They’ve been around for so long, the place just won’t be the same without them. But, they need a better home now. I’ve moved on to other things in life and I just can’t take care of them anymore. I am keeping my goats; they still have a purpose of keeping the blackberries under control around here.

Time sure does get away from me! I’ve been keeping myself pretty busy these days. I spent a lot of time studying and then went and took another CLEP test in an effort to make some progress on my BA degree. However, I didn’t quite pass the CLEP test which was very frustrating. I’d appreciate your prayers as I seek the Lord’s direction as to where he wants me to go from here as far as my education is concerned.

And, with summer quickly approaching, I am in the process of putting together my spring studio recital. Currently the recital is tentatively planned for April 30th and will consist mostly of duets, trios, and hopefully quartets. All of my students are doing very well and working hard. They are a joy to work with. God has blessed me with some neat kids and I’m very thankful for each of them.

And now, before I run out of time for updating my blog, let me show you what Jonathan and I have been up to lately.

A few weeks ago, Jonathan came to visit me and we got to go canoeing on the Lewis River. We dug the life jackets out of the barn, found some old paddles, and loaded Dad’s canoe onto Jonathan’s little car.

We dropped the canoe off and I stayed with it while Dad and Jonathan drove down river to leave Jonathan’s car so we could float down the river, load up and go home. It worked really well and was a lot of fun. Dad helped saw us off and took this picture for us before he left. 

The river was pretty calm so we were able to just let the river push us along and Jonathan did all the steering. I had a paddle but when I wasn’t really using it, I set it down and just enjoyed the ride.

The next time I went to visit Jonathan in Salem he had these beautiful flowers waiting specially for me. I brought them home wondering how I was going to keep them safe from predators such as vicious goats and a hyper dog named Mocha. Then I remembered I had a perfectly safe place for them on the roof right outside my bedroom window. So now I get to look at them right out my bedroom window every day. I’ve also been able to dry some of the pansies so I’ll always be able to have them.

We went to visit some more waterfalls, this time out near the coast. We also went to the beach but only for a few minutes because we ran out of time. Also, it was super cold, windy, and rainy on the beach that day.

And that is all I have time for right now folks! I hope you enjoyed the pictures and a small update on what I’ve been doing. I’m beginning to think blogs are best for pictures…writing blog posts takes a lot of time. BUT, I do like to write…and I do have things to write about. So, one of these days, I will write a blog post again.

Isaiah 40:8 “The grass withereth, the flower fadeth: but the word of our God shall stand for ever.”

Psalm 94:18-19 “When I said, My foot slippeth; thy mercy, O LORD, held me up.  In the multitude of my thoughts within me thy comforts delight my soul.”

Last weekend I went to Salem to visit Jonathan and his family. While I was there, we went to Silver Falls and walked around for a couple hours. It was very nice and we got some cool pictures…well, that is, we did our best at taking self-portraits. So, I’ll go ahead and post a couple of those pictures for you to enjoy. Eventually I’ll get a blog post on here with more words than pictures, but for now you’ll just have to be satisfied with pictures. I am trying to spend a significant amount of time studying as I am hoping to take another CLEP test soon so I would greatly appreciate your prayers for me to be diligent and focused as I study.

Psalm 126:3 “The LORD hath done great things for us; [whereof] we are glad.” Psalm 37:4-5 “Delight thyself also in the LORD; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart. Commit thy way unto the LORD; trust also in him; and he shall bring [it] to pass.”

A few weeks ago, I went to visit Jonathan and his family in Salem. We enjoyed some really nice weather while I was there. This picture of Jonathan, and the one above of both of us, were taken while we were out enjoying a Sunday afternoon walk.

Jonathan and Suzanne

Rob and Karen Holm, Suzanne, Allen

This is a nice buck that Jonathan spotted while we were out on a walk in Bend, OR when we went to visit Rob. Now how come I never saw anything like this while I was out hunting?

Jonathan, his brother Allen, and I went to visit Rob Holm a few weeks ago. While we were there, we played some music together which was a lot of fun.

On February 9th I became an Aunt for the 10th time. My sister Christina had a baby girl and her name is Mikayla Joy.

Aunt Suzanne, Mikayla, Aunt Linda

Happy Birthday!

And then February 18th was my birthday. We had a nice party with the whole family (Plus Jonathan and JB) on Saturday. I really enjoyed spending time with all my nieces and nephews again. We went on a couple walks, had a few wrestling matches, ate cake, opened presents, and visited. I’m very thankful for all the family God has blessed me with.

Sorry it’s taken me so long to update my blog. As I’m sure you know, I’ve been a bit distracted.

I’ve been staying busy with my violin and piano students, my family, my church, my Jonathan , and my school.

1 Chronicles 28:9 “…know thou the God of thy father, and serve him with a perfect heart and with a willing mind: for the LORD searcheth all hearts, and understandeth all the imaginations of the thoughts: if thou seek him, he will be found of thee; but if thou forsake him, he will cast thee off for ever.”

Judah, Suzanne, JB, and Jonathan

New beginnings in 2010! My mind was racing as I climbed the stairs to my bedroom the evening of January 1^st. “Why was Matthew so insistent that I go look in my room!? Something is up!” I thought as I rounded the corner into my bedroom doorway. I stopped in my tracks. I’m pretty sure my heart skipped a couple beats too. “Could it be!? This isn’t from Matthew, I know that.” I scanned my bedroom to make sure there wasn’t anything else waiting for me. It looked safe so I cautiously proceeded toward the items awaiting me on my desk. My mind was working triple time. “Is this for real!? Is this really happening? Does this mean what I think it means!!? No, it can’t be. But what else could it be!? It must be. It HAS to be!! But how? No, it’s not possible.”

Knowing we both have a teddy bear, Jonathan couldn't have come up with a more creative or special way of delivering his letter.

I just stood there, trying to sort it out in my mind. I reached down and touched the handmade quilt. “Who else could it be?” I ran my hand over the teddy bear’s soft fur and gave his arm a squeeze. “It’s him, I’m sure it is. I know this teddy bear. But what if I’m wrong?” My heart was pounding in my throat. I timidly reached for the scrolled up letter held in the paws of the soft brown teddy bear. My fingers were shaking too much, I couldn’t untie the purple ribbon that fastened the letter. “There’s no one else it could be!!!” my mind screamed as I yanked the purple ribbon off the end of the scroll. My eyes desperately scanned the words on the shaking paper for an answer. “IT IS HIM!!” This special teddy bear, JB (a.k.a. Jonnie Bear), had been sent to me as a messenger from a servant of Jesus Christ by the name of Jonathan M. Cox.

Jonathan was asking me to openly walk in the light with him in a relationship clearly headed toward marriage. I was overwhelmed with joy. Just one day prior I had admitted to my journal that I could not get Jonathan off my mind and heart. I couldn’t understand why the Lord wasn’t helping me view Jonathan as nothing more than a brother. Now I understood; God was preparing my heart. I was so happy! At long last I could freely and openly let my feelings for Jonathan be known. I didn’t have to hold them in and hide them anymore. God is so good!

Needless to say, I have accepted Jonathan’s invitation and am officially walking in the light with him in a relationship for the purpose of pursuing marriage. What a blessing to do things God’s way, with all purity, walking in the light. I would greatly appreciate your prayers for us as we seek God’s wisdom for our relationship.

So, who is Jonathan, how did I meet him, where did he come from, and what do I think I’m doing entering a relationship without getting your approval first? I met Jonathan Cox on August 10, 2009 when I went to the Clark County Fair to help out with the Soul Winning booth my church had there with Amazing Grace Mission. Jonathan was being trained in the fair ministry by the missionary, Rob Holm, who was heading up the booth. As we worked together at the fair, I quickly noticed that Jonathan wasn’t just any guy. He was a sincere, respectable, and honest young man, earnestly seeking to live a life pleasing to the Lord. He was passionate about sharing the gospel with lost souls and he wasn’t afraid to push me out of my comfort zone, challenging me to study and be a workman that needeth not to be ashamed (2 Tim 2:15).

Jonathan

Feeling that it is very important for a single girl to keep her focus on serving the Lord, I have always done my best to view every guy as a brother and nothing more. Whenever I would struggle with this, I would pray and ask for God’s help to view the guy as only a brother and God would graciously answer that prayer. During the next few days at the Clark County Fair, I started to get acquainted with Jonathan. I quickly discovered a shocking number of similarities. “Great,” I thought. “This one’s going to be tough to view as only a brother.” As usual, I took my struggle to the Lord and handed it over to him. I knew that God could bring a guy into my life and make it clear that he was the one for me to marry without any help from me; I would only mess things up.

At the end of the Clark County Fair, I realized how much I was going to miss helping out at the booth. What a blessing it was to be able to share the gospel with numerous people every day. And I had learned so much from both Rob and Jonathan. People had asked me numerous questions; every day I would go home and study my Bible to try to find answers. I was in the race, I was fighting the fight, and I was addicted to the ministry. I wasn’t ready for it to be over. Brother Holm interrupted my sad thoughts by saying, “It’d be great to have you at the California State Fair!” “How would I get there!?” I said. Then the thoughts started going through my head. “What a wild idea! Seriously? Why am I even considering this? I really want to go! Hmmmm.”

After much prayer, and talking it over with my parents and my pastor, I called Rob Holm and said, “I’m interested in going to help with the California State Fair.” One week later, my fiddle, my teddy bear, and I headed to California. I couldn’t believe Dad was letting me go. I couldn’t believe I was going. But it couldn’t have been clearer to me that God wanted me to go to California, I just didn’t know why. As I drove, I had A LOT of time for thinking. And I had a lot to think about. I realized that I would have been headed back to college right then if the Lord hadn’t made it clear to me that he didn’t want me to return to college. I didn’t know why he didn’t want me back at college, I just knew he didn’t. I also realized I wouldn’t be able to go to California like that if I had a regular job, something I’d considered looking into at the beginning of the summer. I had decided that I should keep my focus on what the Lord had already provided for me: my violin studio. Therefore, I was not tied down by a job and was able to just reschedule my student’s lessons.

I thought God had answered my prayer to help me view Jonathan as nothing more than a brother…until about a week into the California State Fair. The struggles were back, only they’d grown a lot while they were away. Oh dear! And I had an entire week to go! What was I going to do? I had to get victory! But it didn’t matter how much I prayed or tried…it wouldn’t leave me alone. I felt hopeless. After some conversations with a few different people, and having them pray for me, I once again thought the Lord was helping me view Jonathan as a brother. Thank the Lord! What a relief. My focus was back on the Lord and the work he had for me to do at the fair. I was able to interact with Jonathan as a brother for the rest of the time we had together in California, and it was a great blessing. Being a girl, it wasn’t safe for me to roam the fairgrounds alone so Jonathan would escort me to and from the booth each day. We did some other things together when we weren’t busy at the fair too. The fellowship was very refreshing and a much needed break from the work at the fair.

So I basically spent 3 weeks working with Jonathan. I got to know him pretty well during that time. After returning home, Jonathan and I were staying in touch as brother and sister. This was working out great for a while but the longer I was away from him, the more I realized that I missed him. He lives in Salem, OR, two hours South of my house. I had seen him 3 times since we got home from California. I couldn’t stop thinking about him. When I realized how I felt, I realized I couldn’t keep corresponding with Jonathan the way I had been. I seriously considered sending him an email, asking him to delete all the letters I’d ever sent him; telling him that I was no longer able to treat him as only a brother and, for the sake of guarding my heart, I needed to break contact with him. But the Lord would not give me peace about this.

Out of sheer frustration, I finally went to my journal to sort out my thoughts. That was December 31^st, my last journal entry for 2009. I had never admitted to my journal that I was interested in Jonathan because I only wanted to write about one guy in my journal; the guy I would marry. But I desperately needed to sort out my thoughts, something I frequently use my journal for. In my journal, I stated that I thought it was important for a girl to treat every guy as a brother until the guy she’s supposed to marry goes to her dad to get his permission and blessing to win her heart. Little did I know the night before I wrote that, Jonathan had done just that!!!

I knew I wasn’t supposed to return to college at the University of Puget Sound, but I didn’t know why. I knew I was supposed to go to California to help with the California State Fair, but I didn’t know why. I knew I was supposed to focus on my violin studio, but I didn’t know why. I thought I should be able to view Jonathan as a brother, but I didn’t know why I couldn’t. I knew I wasn’t supposed to ask Jonathan to stop contacting me, but I couldn’t figure out what I was supposed to do because I knew something had to change. I’m so thankful that God is God and he has it all under control. He is the master orchestrator!

If you would like to read Jonathan’s perspective, visit his blog: Somebody New in Jonathan’s Life

Psalm 46:10a “Be still, and know that I [am] God…” – He is God!! He is in complete control and he knows exactly what he’s doing and why he’s doing it. And, if God wants something to happen, it will! What great peace there is in that truth.

Proverbs 4:26 “Ponder the path of thy feet, and let all thy ways be established.”

Proverbs 3:5 – 6 “Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.” – Oh that men would trust Him more!

Psalm 37:4 “Delight thyself also in the LORD; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.”